Final Fantasy Tactics sobnatwA
by gurshu12
Summary: Final Fantasy Tactics sort of but not all the way Advanced, the original Final Fantasy Tactics story for the ones that found the original too dull.


Final Fantasy Tactics Sort of but not all the way Advanced.  
  
For those who just can't wait.  
  
In the land of a thousand bagpipes ran five chocobo warriors. The one in the lead don a long white cape and wielded a sword by his side, all the while wearing a T-shirt under his iron armor that read MACHO! They ran and they ran, through the fields and the forests, silent like a passed out hobo. One day from their constant running, a man in with huge pockets filled with many items spoke up. He spoke in a merry tune, hoping to bring something entertaining to this dull and boring journey. "...And no one ever told me life, was gonna be this waaaaaaay, cha cha cha cha!" The archer on the other side of him shot him a quick glare, and the Chemist looked surprised. "What? I'm just bored, why are we silent anyway? I mean, this is so bo-"  
  
"Quiet!" barked the leader. "You're ruining the FMV!"  
  
The Chemist hung his head low as they passed a flying Japanese name floating in the air, giving a heavy sigh as they rode on to their southern destination.  
  
It was a darkening night and dark clouds filled the brisk air. On the side of the ocean stood Osborne Monastary, standing proudly as if reaching to the gods with a high bell tower. Inside the alter chamber kneeled a princess in her robes, praying to the lightly statue (even though it was nightime). At the end of the room stood a holy female knight by the name of Agrias, looking concerned, and an old man with a long beard in High Priest robes. The princess spoke quietly. "Dear God, please help us sinful children of Ivalice, because, well, more than half of the things we do we don't even realize that we're doing it, because we're so dang stupid. Ya know, I just met a drunk the other day and he was mooning the bar keep. I bet you 10, no a 1000 gold that he didn't even remember it the next morning. Oh, you saw that too? Well that reminds me of a funny story really, see just about five hours ag-"  
  
Agrias took a step forward, "Princess Ovelia, lets go..."  
  
The princess muttered under her breath and kept kneeling, "Just a minute, Agrias."  
  
Agrias got a slight look of desperation in her face, "The guards have already arrived."  
  
The old man turned torwards Ovelia. "Princess, don't give Agrias trouble. Please hurry..."  
  
Suddenly the two oak doors leading out busted in and three knights strode in. The knight in the middle seemed elderly, and he wore old clankly armor. To his right stood a blonde haired young man in dark armor, and on the left stood a Squire. The old knight spoke up, "What's going on, it's been nearly an hour!"  
  
The Squire looked over to him, "Er...actually, it's only been a few seconds since like, ya know, she started praying and all that."  
  
Everyone raised their eyebrows at him, and he silently stepped back.  
  
Agrias glared at the elderly knight, "Don't be rude to the princess, Gafgarion."  
  
Suddenly the old priest dropped two gold pieces at the two knights beside Gafgation's feet. They instantly kneeled down to pick them up, then both found the carpet to look pretty amazing. Gafgarion caught on to it to, and lowered his head gazing at the carpet. Gafgarion spoke quickly, "Is this going to be alright Agrias? This is an urgent issue for us."  
  
"Yeah," spoke up the Squire, "we really gotta go to the bathroom and there's no toilets in here."  
  
Again, everyone raised an eyebrow at him, and again, he backed off. Agrias looked at Ovelia, who was laughing along at a joke God just said about two Mimes walking into a bar, and again glared at Gafgarion, "So there are rude knaves even among the Hokuten?"  
  
By now the opposite knights beside Gafgarion began playing paper football as Gafgarion and Agrias began squabbling. Gafgarion was now completely fascinating by the wonderful red stitching in the carpet. "I'm being more than kind to the guard captains-"  
  
"SCORE!" Shouted the Squire, wincing when Gafgarion spun around and barked: "ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. NO MORE TALKY FROM YOU!" The Squire looking more than ashamed sulked, while Gafgarion continued, "ahem...besides, we're mercenaries hired by the Hokuten. I'm not obliged to show respect to you."  
  
Agrias was taken by surprise, and looked simply outraged. "What?! How dare you!"  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the alter, Ovelia was having a nice chat with God. "So, anyway, about that whole help us thing, I think we really need it. You know what else is funny? I said it as some sort of foreshadowing event. Bwahaha, which reminds me that-"  
  
God suddenly interrupted her, "ya know, Ovelia, this is mighty fun and what-not but uh, I think you should really stand up before that old guy gets it where the sun don't shine...yeah."  
  
Ovelia stood up and turned around, "That's enough, let's go."  
  
The two knights stopped with an 'aw' look in their face as they halted their game of paper football. The princess began walking then turned to the old priest. He sighed and looked into her eyes. "Go with God."  
  
"You too, Simon," she replied.  
  
Suddenly a female knight rushed in with, clamping a serious wound. Simon ran to help her, and held her up. "Lady Agrias...the enemy!"  
  
Simon got a surprised look on his face, "Prince Goltana's men? From the IRS?!"  
  
The knight looked at him with a disgusted look, "Uh...no, just a couple of knights ready to burn the church down if necessary, ya know, our lives at stake and such."  
  
Simon looked away, "oh yeah...them too..."  
  
Agrias suddenly looked worried and ran outside in a flash, screaming "OH CRAP I LEFT MY BROWNIES IN THE OVEN!!!"  
  
Gafgarion sighed and pulled out a spatula, "what one must do to make money... What, Ramza you have a problem too?"  
  
Ramza, the knight in the dark armor, looked up at Gafgarion. "I'm not longer a knight, just a mercenary like you... and I don't know how to clean ovens."  
  
Gafgarion got a concerned look on his face, "thats right...well then. Let's go!"  
  
The other knight that has been silenced slipped on his pink oven mits and ran outside screaming "I am a happy boy!", tripped, got back up, and shut the doors, leaving the princess baffled.  
  
"Oh God..." 


End file.
